Sam Simmons: Fail

After storming Edinburgh, he's back... Winner of things. Triple J. ABCTV's Murray Foote. I wrote this show in a cave using only the light from the screen of a Nokia 3600. It took me 7 straight weeks and I only had one change of tracksuit pants. I maintained sustenance by sucking condensation off the walls and toasting moths over my phone. I need to recharge. FAIL

• Sam SimmonsHimself